So here I sit at my desk trying desperately to get motivated to start the day. I don't want to do this day. I didn't want to do yesterday and I don't want to do tomorrow. I feel like I live for Saturday and Sunday as those are the only days I truly own, but even those days are full of obligations, errands and have-to's. Lunch with friends sometimes feels like another 'cross of my check-list' type of chore. Sigh. Does any one else feel this way?
I read an article recently in the WSJ called Escape from New York. What caught my attention about the article was the opening line. "Many cubicle dwellers in their 20s feel blocked off from the American Dream by killer work hours, job stress and housing prices that far exceed their grasp. After asking herself at age 28, "Is this all there is?" Melissa and her husband took what family members said was a crazy risk -- and found a satisfying answer."
Hello? Are you talking about me? It really started to make me think about what in the world I'm doing? I hate this career. I hate working long hours and working all the time in stress. I just hate it. I want a comfortable lifestyle yes, but feel like I'm not even able to enjoy anything. It's as if working like this has made me a person that I don't want to be.
I wonder about Grandpa. Did he ever feel like this? Was he able to enjoy his days? His family? Is it the pace now days that makes everything feel so frantic? Or is this what adult life is suppose to be like?
Again, not looking for answers but using this medium to vent. I think that's why Karl's teacher suggested it for stress management. Online journaling. Makes me feel better and more able to face the day.
I love you all. Happy Birthday to Dad and to my lovely BRANDON. He's 32 today.
-M
8 comments:
Oh crappy, I forgot Brandon has his day today too. Well Happy B-Day big guy!
-Rusty!
Hey marjorie, a while back you said maybe you could get me in as a hotdog or peanut guy at wrigley. Were you serious? Cause if you were we should talk. That would be a fun summer job for my last summer. Happy birthday big B and dad!!!!!
-karl
marge, i think we need to see a more complete pictorial of your office. from my prespective, you need some nice pictures hanging on your wall. or a fern. i think it would be bad ass if you had a picture that was a window frame and view to "outside" somewhere. plus, a fern would help convert your CO2 to O2.
when you get a chance i would like to see pictures of your work environment.
ryan
(happy birthday brandon and dad, i'll see you both soon)
Happy Birthday Brandon and Dad! We love you both and hope you both have great days and eat lots of yummy food!
Listen to this great song Margie, it is helping me have a better day...
http://radiofreechicago.typepad.com/reredesign/files/ASOBISEKSU_Thursday.mp3
Or else this one. I don't think you can be sad while listening to this
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7220079
Happy Birthday Ed & Brandon!!!
The girls & have tried to call you both today but we know you are busy guys (actually, I've never got an answer from Margie's phone. I'm starting to suspect It's at the bottom of a cliff somewhere.)
Anyway, we hope you both are having good birthdays & doing fun things w/people you love.
Betsey & Rusty "Eddie",
Can you guys please send email updated address info to Ryan or I when you get a chance. I know! We should already have that. sorry.
Love you all
-Casey
(& Ash, & Chloe)
I meant send BY email
-C
Marjorie,
You asked about Grandpa.
I remember there was a time when I was in third and fourth grade when money was really tight at our house. Back then women didn't work outside the home, and all the responsibility for providing for the family rested on my dad's shoulders. He took a job for a local gas company driving a big tanker filled with fuel to towns as far as fifty miles away. I remember how I used to worry about him getting in a wreck and having all that fuel explode, and I would wait up in my bed and pray and pray that he would get home safe. When he would finally get home, I would be able to fall asleep.
I know how much he loved to come home after work and read the paper and just relax. My mom would nag him because he'd be sitting in the green chair, reading the paper while us kids were running around like wild Indians, or were bickering back and forth. It would make her crazy that he could sit there and not hear any of it (Does that sound familiar?)
At least once a month he would give up his while Saturday afternoon and evening to drive up to church meetings in Minneapolis/St. Paul, two hours drive up and two hours drive back.
It seems like he always had something around the house to fix.
I wish I could ask him why he did not get burned out and complain about how hard his life was. I think he must have had a different attitude about everything. I believe that he must have known that if he was sick and could not go to work that day that the whole world would not fall apart. He definitely did not face the high stress deadlines that you (and I, to a smaller degree) face.
Also, he really liked what he did, and he liked the people who worked for him.
What I DO know is how proud Grandpa was of all you kids, and how hard you worked, and how good he thought you were at everything you decided to do. He was always telling me what amazing kids you were, that you had an internal desire to succeed that prevented you from getting derailled by drugs, and other destructive influences. You really are amazing you know!
When this adventure is over, and you are on to the next new adventure, whether it is North Carolina, or marriage and children, or whatever you decide to do, you will be amazed too, at how much you were able to accomplish during this time of your life.
Always know that you were and are loved by the people who know you best--your family.
Love You, Claudia
Margie, is there something else that you can do in your field of work, that might not be so demanding. - have you thought about just trying something different. ask yourself what you would trully be happy at. if you take a pay cut would you beable to live. - of course you would - it might be tight - or you might have to give something up.
is this really trully what you want to be doing -- are you haveing fun- or are you just taking on way to much stuff -- like your mother - you just can't say NO. and are people in the office just walking all over you.
happy birthday uncle ed and brandon.
stacey
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